Out With a Bang!

It only seems fitting that since we started this year off with some pretty crazy things, some of them pretty major, others not quite as much (a few examples: How it all went down, Phoenix Trip, Re-routed, and the absolute best one He's Here) that we would should "go out with a bang!" Not that we had anything planned!!

I'll just use the statement that I gave to the Police to describe the following:

At approximately 1:30pm on Friday December 28, 2012 I was traveling southbound in the right hand lane on James McKevitt Blvd approaching 162ave.  I was in the right hand lane with two vehicles already stopped at the red light ahead of me. I was slowing down and as I was about 15-20 feet away from the second vehicle the light turned green. I then signaled and changed into the left hand lane (as the left lane was open) so that I wouldn't have to slow down any further.
As I was entering the intersection a vehicle traveling west bound on 162 ave T-boned the driver side of my van, pushing my vehicle into the median and pole dividing the east & west bound traffic for 162ave (on the west side of James McKevitt Blvd)

I've never been involved in a 'serious' accident (I definitely did not get my Mother's genes on that one!!). I've been a passenger in two minor fender benders, in which no one was hurt.

As the accident keeps replaying in my head the worst part of it all was the sound right after the ginormous CRUNCH we heard, was the panic sound of screaming and crying coming from all three of my children, which I was told later by EMS that crying is a good thing...it means they are alive!

I felt so 'stuck'. I so desperately wanted to go back there and comfort them. I could not exit my door, my seat had moved so that it was touching the passenger seat...and there was a pole in the passenger sliding door! There was no way for me to get to the kids.

All I could do was talk to them and tell them that it was okay, and that help would be there soon.

After the impact, and vehicles had stopped sliding everywhere the driver of the other vehicle came right over to us. You could see the look of guilt on his face as he walked over. He opened the passenger side door and asked if I was alright, unbuckled my seat belt, then looked into the back of the van, saw the three kids...and I swear his jaw hit the floor!

I'm not sure who called 9-1-1, but it seems as though Police, Fire & EMS were there in a matter of minutes!!

After Sam, the paramedic got into the van she started assessing me. When I told her I was experiencing pain in my neck & showed her the area she immediately held my head and told me not to move. The fire guys removed all three kids from the rear of the van and took them to hang out in a firetruck. Meanwhile they determined that they were going to have to use the Jaws of Life to get me out of the van. CA-RAZY!

Prior to removing my door Sam explained that I would hear a loud pop, but that it was just the glass breaking. She also told me to tell her if I felt anything on my legs...I immediately moved my legs as far away from the door as I could...I didn't need them to be injured in the attempt of freeing me from my van!

Once the door was off, they put a neck brace on me, and onto the hard, straight board I went. They started strapping me down, when one of the EMS people said that they needed to take my coat off so they could get my blood pressure. One of them tried to get my arm out without moving me too much, and then said "I think we're going to have to cut it" In my head I'm crying NOOOOO! Then I heard Sam say, "No, don't cut it, it's a nice coat, let me try"...and she was successful, Thank You Sam!!

Once in the ambulance, Sam started asking me if I had family that could come and get the kids, where Dad (Irish) was, and if there was someone that could meet us at Foothills Hospital to be with Benson while I was having my X-rays.

It's all somewhat of a blur, but long story short my sister ended up following my ambulance to the hospital. My Aunt (who was in the process of packing to go to Utah for a week) came to the scene to go in the ambulance with Marshall & Paisley. Before she went with them she was allowed to come see me in the ambulance. She reassured me that the kids would be looked after, that I didn't need to worry about them, and that they wouldn't leave (for Utah) until they knew I was going to be okay. My cousin, who is more like my brother drove my Aunt to the scene & was able to take all of our belongings out of the van and back to the house. He also popped his head in to give me some reassuring words. Oh and yes, Irish was called. I made Kristi do that, as I barely made it through the phone call to her...I knew I wouldn't even be able to speak to Irish if I called him!

Once arriving at the hospital it wasn't too long before there was a space ready for me in the trauma center. I was SOOOO happy when they finally took me off of that hard board! I know it's used to help keep you in a stable position...but man oh man does it ever do a number on your tailbone & the back of your head! Talk about numb beyond numb!!

Both my chest and neck were X-rayed. Good news is that there are no broken bones! I was then given 'the road test' as they called it. They did a few motor skill tests, and then finally the last test was to sit up, and be able to walk. The sitting up and walking was actually harder than I thought it would be. I got really dizzy and nauseous, it took a few tries before I was able complete that part. Finally I was able to get dressed and the last thing they did was take the IV out of my hand.

By this point they had paged Kristi back to be with me. Benson had been asleep the whole time and woke up just as I was finishing the 'road test'. Kristi took him out of the car seat and almost immediately he had some nurses 'oogaling' him.

As the nurse was taking the IV out she told me to keep pressure on the area for no less than 3 minutes, or else it would bleed out. I received a little bit more instruction from the Dr, and then we were allowed to leave.

So here I am walking down the hallway, holding my "owie", meanwhile my sister, Kristi, has the car seat in one arm, Benson in the other....and is 30 weeks preggo!! I felt like such a jerk...and probably looked like one too, not helping her out! But I honestly couldn't carry anything at that point.

We took a seat in the lobby to get Benson back in his car seat. I then figured it would be a good idea to call Irish and let him know I was okay & being discharged. Turns out he was just about to the parking lot of the hospital, so we waited inside for him. He came in, we (or maybe mostly me) had a tearful reunion, and I'll tell you, it never felt so good to 'hug' him, as it did right then. I was SO glad I was in as good of condition as I was! He got a phone call from my cousin who had reserved a rental van for us, but Irish needed to be there to sign the papers & it was almost closing time...so he was off!

That night was the worst. My whole head ached, my jaw hurt, all of my teeth hurt, my ears were ringing, I felt like there was an elastic band around my head...and I could barely move my neck...or upper body. I have never had so many hot baths as I did over the next 24 hours.

I am so grateful to everyone who helped us out that day with everything from taking care of my kids, gathering what they could out of the van, finding us a rental, praying for us, supporting us emotionally, as well as physically, sending thoughtful text messages, giving me acupuncture and getting me Advil...etc!!

Once again, I have the most amazing family EVER! I Love all of you!!

Now for what you all read this incredibly long post for....PICTURES!!

 They put the front door in the back door

 The tire must have 'popped' off when we hit the curb. You can see the indent in the passenger sliding door from where we hit a pole

 My seat was pushed over, almost touching the passenger seat!

 Yikes

 This is looking in the driver side sliding door, Paisley's seat. So grateful that her hand was not down beside her car seat at the time of impact!!

 Another angle...

...and another

Good Bye Pontiac, you were (mostly) good to us. Thank you for being sturdy, and keeping us all safe!

Bitter Sweet

In all the time that I have worked for my employer, Golds Gym (...and I just past my 5 year mark....minus two maternity leaves, so an actual 3 years of working for them) The Child Care has never, ever EVER been open on a holiday Monday. That was one of the pro's for working in the childcare....plus not having to deal with grumpy members at the front desk, and answering phones with irate customers yelling at you because they got an INSF charge on their account because they didn't have enough money in their account! -I'm sorry but I completely fail to see how this is my fault.

A couple of months ago when I figured out that Family Day was my birthday, I was excited because I was going to be getting paid for not working on my birthday....how sweet is that!!

Bitter:

For some strange reason this family day the childcare needs to be open as there are some classes going on (which has never happened as well). Both of my evening girls have taken reading week off, and the girl that helps works with me in the morning is going to Calgary for the weekend and won't be back until Tuesday.....THIS means I am the only one left. Not only will I be working on my birthday, which is a statutory holiday (in Alberta)...I am also stuck to work three split shifts (9am-1pm & 4:30pm-7:30pm) that week (Tues, Wed & Thurs)...the week that Irish does not have school! Meaning some serious family time will be missed!!
Okay My rant is over...On to the SWEET

Sweet:

Because I am working on a holiday...which is my normal scheduled day to work, I am entitled to be paid for my regular hours plus time and a half!! So I will be getting paid for 10 hours!!! AND because I am doing three split shifts, my total hours for this next week will be 31...when I usually only get 19. That is 12 extra hours going towards my goal of 600!!

crazy, terrible, no good day

It's been one of those days...who am I kidding it's been one of those weeks!! I honestly don't know what has happened with Marshall. It seems as though something has just snapped inside. He is absolutely crazy! Running everywhere, non stop jibberish (aka noise) coming from his mouth. The thing that is driving me crazy the most is the fact that he is not listening at ALL. I seriously have to repeat everything 10 times.

Today I was way past the end of my rope with him. It doesn't help that this week is that.time.of.the.month for me so I'm already a little more 'moody' & (by choice) I'm at my SIL's house so therefore no parental trade offs to allow me a cool down!!

Not a thing I said today made any sense to Marshall. He did not listen at all. I was so worked up, and frustrated with him! I have no clue what to do. How do I discipline with love, while still letting him know that I mean business!

Bed time was a gong show! We are all in the same room, so the hecticness is a little crazy. I put P in her playpen, got M in his bed, told him to stay in his bed and not to bother P. Five minutes after walking out I see the light go on, then the talking started, then laughing...and then crying. I then go in, re-settle the kids into their beds. This happens about five different times and each time trying to get through to M that he can not bother Paisley and he needs to stay in his bed!! Finally after getting P settled in the playpen, I remove M from the room and make him sleep on the bathroom floor (just until P fell asleep). When it's time to put M back in the room I slowly and sternly tell him that he must not make any noise what.so.ever!

After I get M back into his bed, I'm leaning over him with my forehead to his. I tell him that if he wakes Paisley up or bothers her at all it will make Mommy so very sad.

What he does next, melted my heart. He puts his arms around my neck and in the sweetest voice he has he says "Don't cry Mom"

I gave him a kiss and told him I loved him very much, and I needed him to go to sleep.

Afterwords I was thinking to myself. What happened that made today the way it was? Why was I so incredibly lost with him? Where did my patients go?!

Then out of no where the scene from Legally Blonde comes to mind when Elle is trying to convince her team that Brooke is innocent

"Exercising releases endorphans, endorphans make you happy, happy people don't just kill their husbands"

It was then I realized that I didn't get to do my work out today....If this is how my day turns out when I don't exercise....I will never miss another workout again!!

Don't call me names

You know I try to be a good person, Christlike and giving of my time/possessions. But when it just gets thrown back in my face with no thanks at all, it drives me crazy!

This morning I've been trying to tackle this still-not-unpacked-and-organized-house of ours! I left the front door open because it was letting in a wonderful breeze.

I was washing out my garbage pails in the kitchen sink when I hear a loud "HELLO!?" from the font door. I walk towards it to see this young lady, who has large black bags under her eyes and seems like she is hung over/recovering from some sort of narcotic, missing multiple teeth and most likely homeless or something close to it.

She asks me if I have 5 bucks to give her. She's starving and needs food. Marshall then comes to the door (he always needs to investigate who comes to the door). She sees him and then says she needs the 5 bucks for her kids, their hungry. I ask her how many she has, she replies 3.

I say "You need food? I'll give you food. I have lots of apples, crackers, I'll make them sandwiches"

I go into the kitchen to grab some apples. I put them in a bag, and while I'm in there she yells

"I don't need food hunny, I need money"

I replie "I'm not giving you money hunny (just because she called me that, and I detest that 'pet name') But I would be more than happy to give you food"

I hand her the bag of apples, she rolls her eyes and starts to mouth me off using words I don't want to hear and really don't want Marshall to hear. I promptly shut the door and lock it! I then hear a loud thud, I peak out the curtains and this girl has chucked the bag of apples at my stairs!!

So to the girl who came by my house this morning:
I'm not stupid, I know what you want the money for! Sorry but I won't support that. If in fact you are hungry, come back and I will gladly share my food with you, and maybe bring your kids this time so that they can have some too, I don't like to hear that children are going hungry! Oh and don't get any ideas of vandalizing my property because I will remember what you look like! And please, don't call me names, especially in front of my child!

...now back to making some order in this house!

UGH!!

Sooooo frustrating! Taxes, why do they have to be so complicated?!? Why do we have to be so cheap that we try to to them ourselves and cause our own headache when we could be paying someone else who KNOWS what they are actually doing...to do them FOR us!?!? Seriously!

I just found out today that I actually did not submit my taxes for this year....I thought I did, like 3 WEEKS AGO! Irish already got his return back, and I have been patiently waiting for mine. I didn't understand why he would get his back so fast when we submitted them on the same day! So today I was checking my account on the CRA website...and noticed that for the 2009 tax return it said it had NOT been received!?!?! I was so confused!

I then go searching, because I was pretty sure I had paid for it, and printed out and filed something! (I should learn to read the fine print)

At the top of the paper that I printed it says "This receipt confirms payment for your QuickTax return preparation. This payment process does not netfile your return with the CRA. Please proceed with printing or netfiling your return" Man do I feel dumb!!

So I then login to send off my taxes, thinking it's only going to take 10 seconds because everything was already entered and ready to go.

WELL I get to the end and it tells me that I can't NETFILE it because 'the province I was self-employed in is different than my province of residence'....well that was the case for 2008....but not for 2009, I wasn't even self-employed in 2009. I then go back to look over my personal/work info. NO WHERE do I have selected that I was self-employed in 2009....it's just pulling the info from when I filed my taxes last year. I can't find anywhere to delete that! So frustrating. I could just print it and mail it...but right on the front page of my T1 it says that my province of self-employment is SK....I don't know how the CRA office feels about white out...but I am tempted!!

I'm calling it quits tonight...hopefully I can figure something out tomorrow! I really DON'T want to have to snail mail it, because then I have to provide a copy of ALL my slips and things...maybe i'm just lazy, but that is more work than I am willing to do right now!

Gave it my best shot

Well I am somewhat happy, but somewhat sad to say I am DONE. By done, I mean done breastfeeding Miss P. On one hand it's really nice to not be the only person who can take care of her when she is hungry, it gives me so much more flexibility and freedom that I had somewhat forgotten about! But on the other hand it was something so special and a responsibility that I didn't mind doing...especially because sometimes it got me out of things I didn't necessarily like doing...like dishes :)

Before Paisley was born I wasn't nervous at all about having another baby. I thought I knew what it was all about and that I had everything somewhat under control. Boy did I learn my lesson that no two babies are the same.

With Marshall I didn't have any issues with nursing. He latched extremely well, ate 10 minutes on both sides every time he nursed his whole 11.5 months of nursing, when we introduced solids he was such a good eater, he ate anything we put in front of him. We had no issues with weaning him, and it only took a couple days before he figured out his sippy cup...which was no big deal as it wasn't a real necessary thing that he be using one.

Paisley on the other hand was pretty much the complete opposite! From day one she wasn't latching properly but soon figured it out. We were doing pretty good until somewhere around 3.5 months where she decided she would eat on her own schedule...which meant she sometimes would go 7-8 hours between feedings during the DAY. This was a very stressful time for me as I KNEW she needed to eat more often, especially with her being so tiny weight wise. I would try to feed her every 3 hours, sometimes trying to get her to latch for 40 minutes at a time. Sometimes she would scream and cry, turn her head everywhere but in the right direction and just flat out refuse to eat!

After about two weeks of this non-sense and going to the Dr multiple times ( I thought maybe she had an ear infection, but did not) she was back to somewhat on a regular eating schedule.

Sometimes she would nurse fine, other times she wouldn't nurse very long at all, and often she would refuse.

She got to be very picky about the places and circumstances in which we could nurse. If there was noise - forget it, sometimes she would only nurse if she was covered, but then other times she would only nurse if she could see my face...but I could not look at her! If she could hear Marshall or if Marshall got too close while she was trying to nurse it was game over! -needless to say I was at my wits end!

After "playing her game" for almost 4 months I couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't sure if it was me (milk supply) or her. Prior to this I was doing everything I knew to try to increase my milk supply: stopped working out, drinking TONS of water, eating healthy foods, taking herbal supplements, TRYING to nurse often, and trying to pump in between everything else!

SO at the beginning of March I finally decided that I NEEDED to monitor how much our little girl was actually taking in! I borrowed a pump from a friend and started exclusively pumping. Although at this time Miss P still wasn't taking a bottle...but after putting up a hunger strike for 9.5 hours she finally realized that the only way she was going to get anything was from a bottle!!

We then ventured into the world of pumping!! I started to learn a lot about my body!

[travel back in time for a minute] When Marshall was nursing I never felt let down at all, not once. I had no idea what it was...My first appointment with the health nurse she asked me if i had felt 'let down'..."Let down, what's that" was my reply...she explained and said it was okay as some mom's just don't feel it!

WELL after Paisley I knew what other mom's were talking about -wow!...I guess I never put 2 and 2 together...I think i felt let down for about up 3.5 months...which is the time Paisley started having nursing issues!

After I started pumping and could actually see what was going on I realized that Paisley wasn't nursing long enough to allow the let down happen (as I realized it took a full 5 min for something to happen....no wonder the poor thing was so frustrated!!

I seriously felt like that's all I did....ALL DAY! Pump, feed Paisley, drink water, play with the kids, put Paisley down for a nap....and the cycle started all over again!!

After doing this for 3 weeks I was at the end of my nursing days...I dried up! We made it to 8 months...I gave it all that I had, and I'm okay with that! The most important thing is that she is eating relatively well, enjoying her solids and bottles (although this does now depend on her teething status!!) I love our little girl :)